"You know, I probably drove my parents crazy. I probably drove my grandparents crazy. My Grandma still tells me I'm the only grandchild she ever had to hit."
Awesome.
"You know, I probably drove my parents crazy. I probably drove my grandparents crazy. My Grandma still tells me I'm the only grandchild she ever had to hit."
Brock Cardinal punches the Bandito in the testicles five times in a row. The bandito reaches for his gun, only to be punched in the balls three more times. He falls.
Girl: Thanks, gringo.
BC: No, I’m sorry. I know you were about to take care of this yourself, right?
Brock Cardinal’s commando team shows up behind him. Sparks, his demolition man, is a trigger-happy Southerner wild for fast cars and fast booze; Dr. Elena Hendrix, a psychiatrist and FBI agent, is the heart of the team. She is also Brock’s ex-wife. Snoopy is the computer hacker and is quick with small arms. Bento is the contemplative Zen sniper and low-level helicopter ace.
Elena: Are you hurt?
Brock: Only by the constant cruelty of men. He’s got two ruptured testicles, though.
Sparks: Woooo—WEEEE!!! When are we gonna get down to it, Brock? Mah killin’ hand is gettin’ all ache-ified!
Some things in this world you simply cannot explain. This is one of them: Shawne Merriman has decided to play this season. As you know, he has two torn ligaments in his knee. Four doctors have told him he needs to have reconstructive surgery, like, yesterday. And despite this, he’s going to risk his entire career and millions of dollars to play football this year.
Don’t get me wrong, I admire the man’s toughness (or whatever) to play through this substantial injury. But the exchange rate on toughness to American dollars is actually nothing. When his numbers inevitably suffer this season, because he’s playing on one leg, the Chargers -- or any other team considering signing Merriman -- are going to obviously use that against him when his rookie contract expires after the ’09 season, assuming they don’t cut him before then.
"I'll deal with it when it's time to get surgery,” Merriman said. Well, um, when exactly does he think that time is, if it’s not now? At the latest, I’d say it’s next offseason, at which point he’ll have to go play his contract year on a rehabilitated knee. Why not have the surgery now and take this season off? Then he can come back in top-condition for the ’09 season, put up huge numbers again, and then sign a free agent deal for more money than God?
Perhaps the worst part of all this is that the team is clearly using Merriman’s pride to their advantage. If they really cared about what’s best for Merriman’s future -- both physically and monetarily -- they’d force him to have the surgery now. But, they have nothing to lose by letting him play this season. If he sucks, they bench him. If he further injuries himself, he has the surgery mid-season. If he, by some miracle, performs well, then great -- he’ll help them win games. Although based on the fact that San Diego signed Merriman’s back-up to a five-year extension on Monday, I’d say they aren’t counting on the end game being a pretty one for Merriman.
“New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has won more or less than two Super Bowls?”
– Matt Gallant, host of NFL Cheerleader Playoffs on NFL Network, asking a question during a trivia game
“False.”
– Catherine, Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleader, getting the question wrong
Team | W-L | Rating | Conf | |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | LSU | 12-2 | 94.6 | SEC |
2 | Florida | 9-4 | 90.4 | SEC |
3 | Georgia | 11-2 | 90.3 | SEC |
4 | Southern Cal | 11-2 | 87.8 | P10 |
5 | West Virginia | 11-2 | 87.7 | BigE |
6 | Oregon | 9-4 | 85.3 | P10 |
7 | Missouri | 12-2 | 85.2 | B12 |
8 | Tennessee | 10-4 | 85.0 | SEC |
9 | Oklahoma | 11-3 | 84.6 | B12 |
10 | Auburn | 9-4 | 84.2 | SEC |
11 | Ohio State | 11-2 | 83.0 | B10 |
12 | Virginia Tech | 11-3 | 82.8 | ACC |
13 | Arizona St | 10-3 | 82.8 | P10 |
14 | Kansas | 12-1 | 79.1 | B12 |
15 | Kentucky | 8-5 | 78.5 | SEC |
16 | South Florida | 9-4 | 77.6 | BigE |
17 | Oregon St | 9-4 | 77.1 | P10 |
18 | Arkansas | 8-5 | 77.0 | SEC |
19 | Clemson | 9-4 | 76.6 | ACC |
20 | Texas | 10-3 | 76.4 | B12 |
21 | Cincinnati | 10-3 | 75.1 | BigE |
22 | Boston College | 11-3 | 73.8 | ACC |
23 | Alabama | 7-6 | 72.2 | SEC |
24 | Penn State | 9-4 | 71.9 | B10 |
25 | South Carolina | 6-6 | 71.5 | SEC |
Team | Rating | Last Week | |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Chi_Cubs | 96.8 | 1 |
2 | Tampa_Bay | 92.4 | 3 |
3 | Boston | 91.5 | 4 |
4 | LA_Angels | 89.7 | 2 |
5 | Chi_White_Sox | 86.2 | 5 |
6 | Milwaukee | 80.3 | 7 |
7 | Minnesota | 75.7 | 9 |
8 | St_Louis | 74.5 | 10 |
9 | NY_Yankees | 73.0 | 8 |
10 | Philadelphia | 71.3 | 6 |
11 | Toronto | 71.2 | 12 |
12 | NY_Mets | 69.2 | 11 |
13 | LA_Dodgers | 63.4 | 14 |
14 | Arizona | 56.7 | 15 |
15 | Baltimore | 50.9 | 17 |
16 | Houston | 49.9 | 19 |
17 | Detroit | 46.9 | 13 |
18 | Florida | 42.6 | 16 |
19 | Cleveland | 37.6 | 22 |
20 | Texas | 35.7 | 21 |
21 | Oakland | 35.7 | 20 |
22 | Atlanta | 34.9 | 18 |
23 | Pittsburgh | 21.9 | 23 |
24 | Colorado | 21.4 | 25 |
25 | Cincinnati | 16.3 | 26 |
26 | Kansas_City | 16.1 | 24 |
27 | San_Francisco | 8.3 | 27 |
28 | Seattle | 5.7 | 28 |
29 | San_Diego | 5.0 | 29 |
30 | Washington | 1.3 | 30 |
Ole Miss offensive lineman Kermit Tyler, a freshman from New Orleans, has been diagnosed with an allergic reaction to strenuous exercise.
Houston Nutt will honor the scholarship because he’s not evil. Bravo for him.
Team | Rating | Last Week | |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Chi_Cubs | 95.9 | 1 |
2 | LA_Angels | 93.3 | 4 |
3 | Tampa_Bay | 93.1 | 3 |
4 | Boston | 93.0 | 2 |
5 | Chi_White_Sox | 83.6 | 5 |
6 | Philadelphia | 80.8 | 6 |
7 | Milwaukee | 80.6 | 9 |
8 | NY_Yankees | 74.0 | 7 |
9 | Minnesota | 73.1 | 8 |
10 | St_Louis | 72.6 | 10 |
11 | NY_Mets | 64.2 | 11 |
12 | Toronto | 64.2 | 12 |
13 | Detroit | 54.2 | 16 |
14 | LA_Dodgers | 52.6 | 14 |
15 | Arizona | 50.7 | 15 |
16 | Florida | 47.5 | 17 |
17 | Baltimore | 46.0 | 19 |
18 | Atlanta | 45.0 | 20 |
19 | Houston | 44.8 | 21 |
20 | Oakland | 42.0 | 13 |
21 | Texas | 41.9 | 18 |
22 | Cleveland | 34.6 | 22 |
23 | Pittsburgh | 22.9 | 23 |
24 | Kansas_City | 20.4 | 24 |
25 | Colorado | 15.8 | 25 |
26 | Cincinnati | 13.1 | 26 |
27 | San_Francisco | 8.5 | 27 |
28 | Seattle | 5.5 | 28 |
29 | San_Diego | 3.6 | 29 |
30 | Washington | 2.3 | 30 |
It includes bans on:
-- Behavior that is unruly, disruptive, or illegal.
-- Drunkenness and signs of alcohol impairment that result in irresponsible behavior.
-- Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures.
-- Interference with the progress of the game, including throwing objects onto the field.
-- Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel.
-- Verbal or physical harassment of fans from the opposing team.
"The in-stadium experience is critically important to the NFL, our clubs and our fans and it will be a major focus this season," Goodell said in a statement. "We are committed to improving the fan experience in every way we can -- from the time fans arrive in the parking lot to when they depart the stadium."
The league also left teams the option of adding additional provisions to the code based on local circumstances. It said the guidelines would be contained in mailings to fans and signs posted at stadiums.
Team | Rating | Last Week | |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Chi_Cubs | 95.5 | 2 |
2 | Boston | 93.2 | 1 |
3 | Tampa_Bay | 92.8 | 4 |
4 | LA_Angels | 91.1 | 5 |
5 | Chi_White_Sox | 82.7 | 3 |
6 | Philadelphia | 82.2 | 8 |
7 | NY_Yankees | 81.3 | 6 |
8 | Minnesota | 75.4 | 10 |
9 | Milwaukee | 75.4 | 7 |
10 | St_Louis | 69.5 | 13 |
11 | NY_Mets | 64.8 | 9 |
12 | Toronto | 64.1 | 12 |
13 | Oakland | 56.5 | 11 |
14 | LA_Dodgers | 55.6 | 16 |
15 | Arizona | 53.9 | 15 |
16 | Detroit | 50.9 | 14 |
17 | Florida | 45.1 | 19 |
18 | Texas | 44.4 | 18 |
19 | Baltimore | 43.2 | 20 |
20 | Atlanta | 40.1 | 17 |
21 | Houston | 36.0 | 23 |
22 | Cleveland | 30.0 | 21 |
23 | Pittsburgh | 24.8 | 25 |
24 | Kansas_City | 24.1 | 26 |
25 | Colorado | 22.2 | 24 |
26 | Cincinnati | 19.3 | 22 |
27 | San_Francisco | 7.2 | 27 |
28 | Seattle | 4.8 | 28 |
29 | San_Diego | 2.3 | 29 |
30 | Washington | 2.0 | 30 |
“Most of the pitchers don’t throw me inside all the time,” Olivo said. “They throw me sliders away or whatever. If he would’ve hit me with the first pitch, I would’ve been happy to take first base. But three times inside? It’s just so obvious.”
“I’m coming into the game trying to get a double-play ball,” Carrasco said. “I’m going to throw in using my sinker. I was trying to get a ground ball out of that. It got away from me. I went to pick up the ball, I look up and he’s charging me. Yes, it surprised me.”
“I’m not going to bring in a guy who throws 85 mph to hit somebody,” Guillen said. “I guarantee it. I’d bring in Dotel. I’d bring in (Matt) Thornton. I’d tell them to hit them. That’s the way I do business.”
Guillen was still hot after the game, saying he should’ve ordered Mark Teahen to be beaned for bunting with a six-run lead, admitting to having players hit in the past, and predicting more drama in the future.
“Get ready for the warnings,” he said. “I signed a five-year deal with this organization, and we play Kansas City a lot.”
Lions vice chairman Bill Ford Jr. addressed the team briefly after practice this morning and received a round of applause from the players.
It isn’t unusual for Ford Jr. to attend practice. But I can’t remember seeing him speak to the team in recent years. His father, William Clay Ford, has done that occasionally.
According to a couple of veterans, Ford Jr. said it’s time to see results after the team has taken steps to improve – building Ford Field, building a state-of-the-art practice facility, hiring coach Rod Marinelli, bringing in Marinelli’s type of guys.
“They don’t want to win,” left tackle Jeff Backus said. “They expect to win.”
That sounds similar to what Ford Jr. told reporters Monday.
Twice in the past few months – at the NFL owners’ meetings in April, then again Monday – Ford Jr. has expressed publicly his frustration with the Lions’ seven straight losing seasons and his faith in Marinelli.
Ford Jr. knows fans are upset and wants to see progress on the field.
“This is not the time for a lot of hype,” Ford said Monday. “It’s a time to actually go out and prove it.”
What does he mean by prove it?
“We’ve got to win,” Ford said. “That’s the name of the game. I think that the expectations for this team are that they will win.
“Otherwise you might as well … You have to go into each season believing that you’re going to win, and winning the championship is the goal. And it has to be the goal. And Rod absolutely believes that and believes that we’ll contend for it."