PILE ON!

The defending Eastern Conference champs sit at the halfway point of the 2008-09 season out of the playoffs. The Pittsburgh Penguins, this blogs least likeable team in sports, have dropped five in a row, six of their last seven, and seven of their last nine games. They were just blanked 4-0 by a goalie who was coming off the flu, and had no shutouts this season. The Pens had 1:59 of a 5 on 3 advantage, and managed only one shot.

Frustration is setting in in the Pens locker room, and it is starting to show now on the ice. After a great scoring chance was wasted by Hockey Jesus putting the shot right into the pads of Henrik Lundqvist, Crosby slammed into the boards and swung his stick into the glass. This can't happen. Fans get frustrated. We here at TLoGL get frustrated. Sports talk guys get frustrated. Hockey superstars get frustrated too, but they can't show it like this.

We saw this in the Finals last year. Pittsburgh rolled through the Eastern Conference playoffs. They went up 3-0 on every team in the East, and only when the Rangers and Philly won their respective Game 4's did Pittsburgh experience anything resembling adversity. Once the Red Wings took Games 1 and 2 in Detroit, all Michel Therrien could say is something to the effect of, "I hope my stars find a way." Therrien better regain control of his team, a very young team, and quickly. He cannot afford to have the NHL's brightest star (in their opinion, not this blogger's) getting frustrated and throwing punches instead of game winning goals. They cannot have one of their top defensemen losing it in front of his own net and wailing on a guy who hit him legally, while the opposition takes advantage of the gaping hole in the defense and scoring.

Unfortunately, they will come out of this, and they will be a stronger team for it. But this entire team has some growing up to do. And a head coach who actually has some coaching to do.

Michel(le) Therrien < Claude Lemieux

From NHL.com

Michel(le) Therrien:

"We took two penalties tonight on the goalie. We never take penalty to the goalie in the playoff. I'll tell you something, I reviewed those plays. He's a good actor. He goes to players, and he's diving. Took away our power play. Got to get focused. I know our players are frustrated right now. It's tough to play the game. But Osgood did the same thing against Dallas under Ribeiro.

Our team never go to goalie. We never did it. And we don't target the goalie. But this is, want to talk about experience, he goes to players, and he knows what to do, I guess."

Oh, no. This is completely legal to skate two feet into the paint and hit the goalie. Dont worry Michel(le), next time we won't call it. You can run your NHL '94 play where Malone skates through the crease and hits the goalie and then maybe your Barbie Dolls superstars can score.

Therrien:

"It's really tough to generate offense against that team. They're good on obstruction. It's going to be tough to generate any type of offense, if the rules remain the same. So it's the first time we're facing a team that the obstruction is there, and we're having a hard time skating to take away ice."

Wrong, douche. The Red Wings are a TEAM. They play position. It is more than just two players skaiting around making plays and outscoring teams 5-4, it's a committment to defense by everyone, including the stars. It's puck support, player A takes the body, player B takes the puck. It's "The Rock" all over again -- know your role, Jabroni! With the puck, make plays, without the puck play your position. You want to cry about the refs? How about the Wings centers getting thrown out of 50% of the faceoffs? How about the crybabies stars on your team going two feet offsides and no whistle? How about Hockey Creep Jesus grabbing every stick around when he's got the puck? You want bad no-calls? Every time porn-stache Crosby gets in a one-on-one situation, he grabs the defenders stick, and when he still loses the puck, he tucks it under his arm and falls down, taking the defender with him. How many goals have been taken off the Penguins side of the scoreboard? I cant hear you, what? Zero? None? Yeah, the Wings have outscored your lilly asses 8 7-0 in two games, and they have taken a goal off the Wings side.

And then you send your defensemen to go after Zetterberg, Datsyuk, and Osgood. You stay classy Michel(le). Go back to Quebec. Oh wait, Montreal kicked your sorry French ass out years ago. One word- retreat! Retreat! They're better than us! Run away! Run away!

And the best part:

Q. Is there anything you can do to give Malkin more space out there?

COACH MICHEL THERRIEN: I thought his intention was there tonight. We've got to keep supporting him, and eventually, players like this, usually they find way.

Good coaching there Michel(le). "Hey guys, we're getting beat. Look at Malkin and Crosby, and they'll show you how to beat them. I'll be in the bathroom. Where's my kleenex?"

Douche.

But this deserves to shown over and over and over and over. And over.