How's Your Golf Game, Adam?

A little over a year after demanding a trade to Colorado, in which he put his then current team (Columbus) in a very bad situation by letting Colorado know he was demanding his way out and taking any leverage Columbus had and sticking in the garbage, Adam Foote is now hitting the greater Denver municipal links. Meanwhile in Detroit, Columbus is preparing to take on the defending Stanley Cup Champion Red Wings in the playoffs.

We hope it was worth it to go from a bad, but up and coming team to a team that finished dead last in the Western Conference.

Adam Foote, you are a giant douche who gives hockey players a bad name. We hope your driver swings around and hits you in the leg and tears ever ligament in your knee and you can never play hockey again.

Red Wings Playoff Opponent, Round 1

We hate Oohi. We hate Oohi with the white hot heat of a thousand suns. And with that, the Wings begin their defense of the Stanley Cup against a team from Oohi, making their first ever appearance in the Stanley Cup playoffs. This does not bode well for them. The last team to make their first appearance against the Wings lost 4-2 in a series that wasn't as close as the score, and the team prior actually had their first two playoff appearances against the Wings, and went 0-8. Expect more of the same.

Columbus gave the Wings fits this season. They are set up perfectly to upset the champs, much like Anaheim did in 2003. The Wings have trouble with 1) teams with speed; and 2) hard working, hard checking teams. Columbus fits both of these. But that was the regular season. Much like the NFL pre-season, it means absolutely nothing except who plays Game 7 at home. When the Wings wanted to win, when the Wings wanted to dominate, they did. This is a veteran team, one that knows what's on the line. And while Columbus makes for a nice story, they will not win a game.

This is the perfect scenario for Detroit. They get the closest team to them for the first round of the playoffs, which means very little travel, and for the fans, no 10:30pm starts. At least, not until the Campbell Conference Finals against San Jose.

Detroit 4, Columbus Oohi 0

Karma is my bee-otch!

First off, let's give a big ovation to Pittsburgh and their fans. Classy bunch (except maybe the coach), great fans, and the beginnings of a great team. They will be back, more than once.

That said,

2007-08 STANLEY CUP CHAMPION DETROIT RED WINGS






Ozzie was great. Very deserving of the three-time (two as a starter) Cup Champion.

Mexican Standoff

DB is staring karma in the eyes, and slapping it in the face with his glove. "I demand satisfaction!" says DB with his six-shooter holstered on his belt. Karma looks up from pummeling some nameless Red Wings fan, and with a sly grin, brushes the dust off his assless (of course they are, they ALL are) chaps, and says with the quiet confidence of Frank Sinatra wooing some dame back in his hey-day, "OK. When and where?"

DB replies, "Tonight. 8 O'clock, at the Igloo."

DB guarantees a Red Wing victory tonight, 5-1. Datsyuk scores 3.

Karma, you must now suck my balls.

That is all.

I'm tired

The best part of last night. 12am, in the second OT, and The Joe is still selling beer.



6:30 came early this morning...

Michel(le) Therrien < Claude Lemieux

From NHL.com

Michel(le) Therrien:

"We took two penalties tonight on the goalie. We never take penalty to the goalie in the playoff. I'll tell you something, I reviewed those plays. He's a good actor. He goes to players, and he's diving. Took away our power play. Got to get focused. I know our players are frustrated right now. It's tough to play the game. But Osgood did the same thing against Dallas under Ribeiro.

Our team never go to goalie. We never did it. And we don't target the goalie. But this is, want to talk about experience, he goes to players, and he knows what to do, I guess."

Oh, no. This is completely legal to skate two feet into the paint and hit the goalie. Dont worry Michel(le), next time we won't call it. You can run your NHL '94 play where Malone skates through the crease and hits the goalie and then maybe your Barbie Dolls superstars can score.

Therrien:

"It's really tough to generate offense against that team. They're good on obstruction. It's going to be tough to generate any type of offense, if the rules remain the same. So it's the first time we're facing a team that the obstruction is there, and we're having a hard time skating to take away ice."

Wrong, douche. The Red Wings are a TEAM. They play position. It is more than just two players skaiting around making plays and outscoring teams 5-4, it's a committment to defense by everyone, including the stars. It's puck support, player A takes the body, player B takes the puck. It's "The Rock" all over again -- know your role, Jabroni! With the puck, make plays, without the puck play your position. You want to cry about the refs? How about the Wings centers getting thrown out of 50% of the faceoffs? How about the crybabies stars on your team going two feet offsides and no whistle? How about Hockey Creep Jesus grabbing every stick around when he's got the puck? You want bad no-calls? Every time porn-stache Crosby gets in a one-on-one situation, he grabs the defenders stick, and when he still loses the puck, he tucks it under his arm and falls down, taking the defender with him. How many goals have been taken off the Penguins side of the scoreboard? I cant hear you, what? Zero? None? Yeah, the Wings have outscored your lilly asses 8 7-0 in two games, and they have taken a goal off the Wings side.

And then you send your defensemen to go after Zetterberg, Datsyuk, and Osgood. You stay classy Michel(le). Go back to Quebec. Oh wait, Montreal kicked your sorry French ass out years ago. One word- retreat! Retreat! They're better than us! Run away! Run away!

And the best part:

Q. Is there anything you can do to give Malkin more space out there?

COACH MICHEL THERRIEN: I thought his intention was there tonight. We've got to keep supporting him, and eventually, players like this, usually they find way.

Good coaching there Michel(le). "Hey guys, we're getting beat. Look at Malkin and Crosby, and they'll show you how to beat them. I'll be in the bathroom. Where's my kleenex?"

Douche.

But this deserves to shown over and over and over and over. And over.

Embarrassing

I have never been so embarrassed to be an NHL fan. You have exactly what you want for the Finals, and this is the product you put on the ice? Both referees and both linesmen should never be able to call another game. Ever. The referees were obvious in their ball handling of Crosby. And by ball handling I mean nuts in mouth. The linesmen were far from subtle in throwing every Wing center out of every face-off and missing obvious offsides against Hockey Jesus Crosby.

Turc-Owned

Turco tried everything, even the Lord of the Dance move...



Hank juked him out of his jock on a shorty...



Wings win Cup 4-1 over Pittsburgh. No problem. They have two skaters, and two skaters only. The Wings top line is good enough defensively to handle them and put the puck in the net from time to time as well.

Bring Stanley Home!

NHL referee's = teh suck

In the crease, no goal:



Not in the crease, goal:



Wait, what?

From the Detroit News:

His explanation, according to Wings captain Nick Lidstrom, was that while Holmstrom's skates weren't in the blue-painted crease, his hindquarters had broken the plane of the crease and interfered with Turco, who insisted afterward that he "couldn't move freely to make that save on the shot."

Replays clearly showed otherwise, however.

"He wasn't in the blue, his (butt) wasn't near the cylinder, he didn't touch the goalie," said Wings general manager Ken Holland, who hadn't yet spoken to series supervisor Mike Murphy, the NHL's senior vice president of hockey operations.

"What do you want me to say? The guy's not in the paint?" Babcock said. "The guy's out of the paint. That's a reputation call totally. It's disappointing. Sometimes a guy gets tripped and you miss it. Some things go wrong and you miss it. Just don't make stuff up, that's all."

Just don't make stuff up. if you don't see it, don't call. Missed calls are a part of the game. Taking points off the board based on things that didn't happen, and thus could not possibly have been seen, based solely on a guy's reputation is inexcusable and warrants punishment.

That said, the loss I think actually helps the Wings. They no longer have the franchise record winning streak hanging over them, they no longer have consecutive sweeps heading into the Finals hanging over them, and they can concentrate on teh issue at hand: one more win against Dallas, and then the four for the Cup.

Just go beat down the Stars in game 5, get ready for Pittsburgh, and bring Stanley home.

One more to the Finals

The Wings are outskating, outhitting, outchancing, and outgoaltending the Stars.



Turco doesn't know what hit him. Last night, he didnt face a ton of shots, but the ones he faced were high quality shots from good spots on the ice. These are the shots that Giguere made last year, and Kiprusoff the year before. These are the shots the goaltender HAS to make to give his team a chance against the Wings. The Stars MO is to get ahead and shut things down, not constantly play from behind.



That said, here is what the Stars must do better to get back into the series:
1- Turco must stand on his head. To win 4 straight against the Red Wings, Marty has to play unbelievable hockey. Not just making great saves, but he has to eliminate the mistakes playing the puck, taking himself out of position.

2- Get the puck deep. How many times did the Wings stand the Stars up at the blue line and start back on an odd man rush the other way? Here is the problem. Usually the guy carrying the puck for the Stars is not the lead guy. Usually, he is not even second. So instead of driving the puck in, keeping the guys in front of him skating hard, he tries to carry it in, losing the puck at the blue line, everybody is standing still, and the Wings have a rush back the other way. Drive the puck into the zone, keep those big wingers moving, put pressure on the defenseman to move the puck quickly, if they can even get it first, and set up in the zone. This leads to the Wings one weakness, which Dallas exploited on a couple of occasions last night.

3- Spread out in offensive zone, and move the puck around the perimeter. The Wings do not have a solid "half-court" defense, to borrow a phrase from basketball. Once you get in the zone, with control, you can do almost anything you want with it, within reason. The Red Wings do not like playing without the puck, and especially in the defensive zone, and are prone to panic. Both Dallas goals last night were products of great offensive zone puck control, based on passing around the perimiter. Just be patient, pass it around, one of the Wings will get out of position, and set up for a shot. Then...

4- Drive for rebounds. Osgood has been special this postseason, but last night gave up a couple juicy rebounds. Chelios, Lidstrom, and Rafalski were the first to the puck to sweep it away on most occasions. The Stars wingers need to drive the net looking for the easy poke for the cheap goal. They all count as 1, no matter how pretty.

5- Put the puck on net. After seeing the Wings failures over the last couple years, this is the one that sticks deepest. How many times has Dallas had one of those rebounds, only to hear Mike Emrick exclaim "just wide!" or "off the side of the net!" If a couple or even one of those finds the twine, this may be a completely different series.

Not that I'm a Dallas fan, but I like them. They play hard, they play clean (I'm looking at you Ribeiro), and are likeable guys. Modano is probably my favorite non Red Wing in the league, and Marty is our old Michigan boy. Even if they manage to do everything on this list, they still may not beat the Wings, but it would make it more exciting to say the least.

Go Wings. I want to see handshakes Wednesday night.